Emotional management techniques provide us with adequate mechanisms to channel everyday tensions, pressures and stress that completely reduce our potential, thus promoting calm and creativity. We must not forget that although emotions are a part of our lives, knowing how to regulate them is essential in shaping a more fulfilling reality and increasing our opportunities.
Neuropsychologists tell us that people have an average of 6,000 thoughts per day, 95% of which are the same as the day before and only a little less than the previous week. Learning to think differently and change your attitude towards certain people, ideas, situations or objects is not an easy task, we know that. This is so because no one comes into the world knowing what and how to control emotions.
We all come into the world crying, and this will be our only language until someone tells us “enough”, until someone explains to us that “adults (fascinating and strong people) don’t cry.” And that’s what we do. We spend years holding back our anger because we have been told it does not express itself that way, but without explaining how to do it. Because heroes don’t get angry or frightened, so there are very few role models for children and others of truly effective emotional management.
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Emotional Management Techniques
There are many techniques for emotional management. However, before we start to examine them and expose ourselves to the risk of feeling overwhelmed by the large number of approaches, dynamics and proposals offered by the publishing market, it is important to clarify. Emotional management is a personal learning process, which is why we must build our own personalized toolbox: not all those that serve others will necessarily serve us and vice versa.
On the other hand, it is common for many people to learn about Mindfulness, for example, in the hope that it will solve a significant part of their existential problems. However, not everyone learns to meditate, and not everyone manages to find that physiological and mental calm that allows them to better manage their worries and anxieties through a technique that is fashionable or that works for most people.
Ideally, it is best to use a multidimensional approach. One in which the cognitive, physiological, behavioral and emotional aspects harmonize with the same goal: to offer us well-being, calm and better mental approaches. Let’s see in the rest of this article what are the 7 emotional management techniques that have proven to be the most effective: we recommend that you try them all and keep the ones that work best for you.
1. Situations to avoid, situations to face
It is clear that we cannot always control everything that goes on in our daily life. However, there are situations that are within our control that we could avoid in order gaining personal well-being and integrity.
For example, if leaving home with just enough time will cause us to hurry and put us in a bad mood at work, we will try to get up earlier and go to our workplace calmly.
If these Sunday meals with the family generate anxiety in us and lead to situations of great tension, it is best to look for other options and to avoid this situation for health reasons.
Likewise, there are things and situations that we cannot and should not run away from. Doing so, for example avoiding public display of my work or taking that plane trip, will only build up more anxiety. There are times when it is necessary to face our fears to overcome them.
2. Directing our attention to something else
My colleague does more contracts than I do. My neighbor managed to lose weight before me. This train is going too fast, we will surely have an accident, the newspapers only bring bad news, surely something bad will happen …
These thoughts only generate more tension, fuel fear, increase our low self-esteem, and cause us to lose control of our reality. We must learn to look away from the immediate environment and its complexity and direct it inward.
Once we get there and manage to take care of ourselves and listen to ourselves, everything will regain its balance. This is another emotional management technique we need to learn to apply on a daily basis.
3. Improve our self-control by focusing on the immediate future
The proposition of focusing our attention on the here and now, in the present, is very popular now. This time we’re going to come up with something different: let’s think about our immediate future, let’s think about tomorrow, next week.
Our present is sometimes inhabited by fear, stressand this chaotic ball where frustration lives.
From today, let’s think about what we want for our nearest future “I want to feel good, I want to get there, I want this to happen and to feel more valid, more self-confident ”.
Let us use the reaffirmation, let us remember our virtues and our successes of the past to locate in this immediate future all our hopes.
4. Mental note: concerns are relegated to just one time of the day
Nietzsche once said it: Thoughts come when they want, not when we want to. The same thing happens with worries, which are like these crows placed on the power lines of our fears and anxieties to intensify them, to extinguish our optimism, our potential and leave us in the dark.
Let’s not allow it. Whenever a concern pops up in our mind’s “inbox”, let’s report it. Let’s leave it for later and choose to define a time of day when we are calm and relaxed, a time when, paper in hand, we are able to reflect and solve these problems.
5. Question with answer: what’s the worst that can happen?
It happens to all of us. Sometimes we become obsessed with certain facts to the point of banging our heads against the wall without finding a solution. Thoughts such as “they are going to fire me from work”, “my spouse is not listening to me anymore”, “I am not going to save enough to pay this debt…” plunge us into a meaningless maze, into an exhausting spiral.
So, instead of feeding these thoughts, let’s take it a step further. Let’s ask ourselves what might happen if what we fear comes true, but let’s do it adequately, with a solution attached to it:
“If I’m fired from work, I can finally decide to start this personal project.”
“If my partner isn’t paying attention to me, I’ll ask them what’s going on. If our relationship doesn’t work anymore, I’m going to have to come to terms with it, grieve it, and move on. “
“If I can’t pay my debt, I’ll have to sell this or that or ask my family for help.”
6. Meditation as a way to relax body and mind
Mediation is another technique of emotional management; but it presupposes frequent practice in order to bear fruit. We will not see results the first week or even the first month, but by practicing it on a regular basis it will end up being beneficial for us. It is essential to be patient, which will result in consistency.
7. Find your way of escape, your way of expression
Some people find their refuge and emotional expression in writing. Others use drawing or painting of mandalas as emotional management techniques. We also find those who go out for a run, those who need to soak up the silence or the natural environment. Others find improvement by going for coffee with good friends, reading books, listening to music, taking a walk with their pets, or seeking precious moments of solitude.
Develop Emotional Management in Children
Reading as a source of Emotional Management in children can be a very useful tool to help them in this area. Here we tell you about the books that can be useful for this purpose, and the ingredients that give them that nature.
Reading is a vital activity for the development of every human being. But in the case of children, we can use reading as a source of emotional management, as a tool for children to learn to understand and manage their own emotional intelligence.
Reading goes far beyond deciphering letters. In addition to interpreting their meaning, it also allows the creation of neural networks that become more complex as the child learns.
In other words, while the child is reading, he manages to get his brain to perform an activity with more variables and details, while interpreting messages that are deposited in his emotional memory. Therefore, promoting the habit of good reading is vital, as reading is a tool for young children to assimilate a good scale of values.
Reading as Emotional Management
Parents, like the guardian or the teacher, are essential figures in a child’s learning. They are useful in the acquisition of formal or theoretical knowledge, but also in those that are more practical, such as emotional management.
According to experts, if parents fulfill the obligations that little ones can already take on, they are likely to develop a feeling of inferiority, worthlessness and inability when it comes to performing certain tasks that must be simple and routine. .
This feeling of inferiority can place the child in some anxiety. It is then important that we show ourselves to the little ones that they are quite capable.
How do you show children that they are important and that they can be independent? Thanks to excellent emotional management. Without a doubt, reading is an essential tool in this regard.
What Books can We Read?
Although any reading can be helpful for better emotional management, it is true that some works are more appropriate when it comes to improving the emotional management of children.
Stories and specialist work in philosophy or psychology for children and young people, for example, are the most interesting reads at this point. With these books, children can improve their personal skills and learn to channel their feelings, especially in difficult and transient stages, such as between 6 and 8 years of age or during adolescence.
Indeed, if we look back, every classic story hides a learning process, a learning called a moral. Each of these knowledge pills belong “in some way to the world of philosophy.”
Today we find many philosophy books focused on children. Written by philosophers specializing in the world of children and reviewed by educational psychologists and experts, these books explore the world from a critical thinking perspective to address management and emotional intelligence.
What can we find in children’s books that promote better Emotional Management?
These types of readings often tell great stories in which the main characters have experiences that force them to interpret their emotions. Following this experience, the protagonists receive interesting practical lessons to manage their feelings.
Obviously, the lessons learned by the main characters in stories and books specializing in emotional management range from the pages of the story to the minds of children who receive a valuable lesson in this regard.
These same readings are also suitable for adolescents, as at this stage young people may feel somewhat lost while leaving behind their identity as children in the transition from childhood to adulthood. This is a vital phase in which they must learn to understand and improve their emotions and emotional intelligence.
Through reading, young people can reinforce their values. And in adolescence, they will already have a good emotional experience, as well as useful tools to extend this experience independently. And all this thanks to the habit of reading books that are particularly interesting to them.
Use reading as a source of emotional management in children and enjoy the full potential that books bring to children. Reading helps to form satisfied, happy and responsible people.
Sometimes the best emotional management techniques don’t come from textbooks. Sometimes we find them ourselves, and we do it when we are not even thinking about it. This is a space where we come together to find the root of our problems. These are places of peace and satisfaction where our courage finds its energy.
Gross, JJ (2001). Regulating Emotions in Adulthood: The Importance of Timing. Current Directions in Psychological Science.
Gross, JJ, and Jazaieri, H. (2014). Emotion, emotion regulation, and psychopathology: an affective science perspective. Clinical psychological science.
Goleman, Daniel (1996). Emotional intelligence. Kairos.
Bradberry, Travis. Greaves, Jean (2012). Emotional intelligence 2.0. Connect
R.Covey Stephen (2015). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.