Childhood is a decisive stage in life. The physical and psychological impressions received during this stage leave lasting traces in the brain. That is why Childhood Trauma completely permeates the personality and sees their influence spread over time.
This does not mean that they cannot be overcome or, in the worst case, that they cannot be overcome to a reasonable extent. Just because a person has had a difficult childhood does not mean that they will not be able to lead a full life. Nevertheless, it usually requires therapeutic processes or deep personal development.
Certain characteristics indicate the presence of childhood trauma that has not been overcome. If you had a difficult childhood, it may be worth checking to see if some of these characteristics are present in the way you are. These are great indicators for realizing that it is time to do something for yourself.
Table of Contents
1. Inhibition, A Characteristic associated with Childhood Trauma
Inhibition is linked to the difficulty of finding your place in the world. In life, even. These are the cases of people who are reluctant to say what they think or do what they want. They are afraid to do it or just don’t think about anything.
Childhood trauma makes a person feel limited when it comes to asserting themselves in the different situations they encounter. On the other hand, these people are hermetic. Isolation. They present great difficulties in communicating with others and are afraid of others.
We meet people who are introverted, which makes them less adept in social situations. Nonetheless, they have no difficult saying so anyone can hear what they think or feel. And they act with autonomy. On the other hand, when there is childhood trauma that has not been overcome, the person wants to go unnoticed, not to attract attention.
A buildup of anger is usually seen in people who have failed to overcome childhood trauma. These are not necessarily violent people. They tend not to be very tolerant and tend to react in an aggressive manner. It looks like they’re still on the verge of exploding, even if they don’t.
Their irascibility is also noticeable in the way he handles objects or in the tone of their voice. The tension is palpable in their gestures and in the way they speak. There is anger in the way they act, although they are not explicitly aggressive.
3. Rejection of Compliments
People who have not overcome their childhood trauma often also have problems to assess themselves. Either they feel far below others, or they feel very superior. This last point is only appearance. It is a mechanism to compensate for the low opinion they have of themselves.
This is why it is common for them to reject compliments from others. They think they are never good enough. That’s why they get angry when we tell them they’re great at something. It seems to them that this is a deception or a mockery. They cannot understand how anyone can have a good image of them, since they hate themselves.
4. Constantly Apologize
Someone who has experienced childhood trauma feels that anything they say or do can bother others. This is why she frequently apologizes. She asks forgiveness for things that don’t require an apology. She does this when she wants to speak, as if she doesn’t have the right to. Or when she is about to enter or leave a place, etc.
This type of behavior is the hallmark of a restrictive, perhaps humiliating, upbringing with few expressions of affection. These people feel as if they have to apologize for any action they might take. This is precisely one of the great effects of childhood trauma that has not been overcome.
5. Escape or Live in Conflict
Traumatic childhoods tend to develop in very conflictual families. A context in which disagreements and aggression were the norm. Any word or any act could trigger a series of problems. This is why the person may grow up fearful of conflict or fixated on it.
Those who fear conflict will flee under any circumstances. They are even able to ignore their own convictions to avoid a contradiction. Those who seek conflict turn everything into a problem. They remain attached to repeating the behaviors they learned during childhood.
Childhood Trauma does not resolve on its own, or at least very rarely. It is necessary to work on them so that they do not end up permeating the personality and making life hellish. There is always something left of all that we experience over time. But as adults, we are able to modulate and craft childhood trauma in such a way that they do not harm us.